Soundtrack to Life

I rarely post links, but this is a good one. Face in the Sky. As I was watching that, I realized that it would have felt a completely different emotion if clown music were playing – I would have laughed. But, since “Any Other Name” byt Thomas Newman was playing in the back I suddenly felt thoughtful and grand.

After hearing that snippet, I pulled up a few songs on my playlist that evoke similar emotions. I queued them up and was reminded that I’m a very music-oriented feeler. I associate memories to music and I associate feelings to music. There are songs that hold meaning to me as I first heard them in a certain place or there was something special going on when I was listening to that song. I’ve always looked at music as a mood enhancer – it can be an amazing distractor and can do wonders for setting an emotional stage.

I recently re-watched Onegai Teacher which is a beautiful anime that has deeper meaning to me than it might others. I love it because I see it as being a story about developing love, growing up, forgiveness for one’s actions that don’t match one’s intentions, and the all important romance that comes from tension.

I am probably one of a few people in this world who has been told that he talks too much yet doesn’t talk enough. Believe it or not, I somewhat agree. When it comes to concrete things that require knowledge-level understanding, I talk in length. My goal is to leave my listeners with a complete understanding of whatever it is I’m talking about. That explains why I’m verbose here. I want to make sure my point gets across successfully. BUT, where I’ve been told I don’t talk enough is when it comes to emotions and how I’m feeling.

Its not that I’m afraid to show my emotion, its that I believe words are limited. Words are concrete and words require the use of the left (logical) side of the brain. Very few people can marry the left and right sides of the brain. I may be able to use both sides, but using them both at once is not a skill I have honed. When I am feeling intense emotions, I am often very silent, yet I am saying so much with my body language. I am more dramatic with my hands, my fingers, and my eyes. If I’m angry, I become rigid and pull away – taking a more birds-eye approach to the situation. When I am excited, I lose myself and become more focused on the situation – ignoring what is going on around me.

I believe more can be said with body language and without words than with words. In fact, I sometimes believe words can break a moment. Maybe its the romantic in me – but there is something serene about the movie scene where the two lovers are locked in each other’s glare. The world goes on around them yet the camera focuses on them, slowly spinning around them – showing that it is only them – they are the center of the world at this moment and that is all that matters. Slowly – with anticipation – their lips approach until they finally kiss. The moment loses its power if one of them rushes. The moment loses its power if one of them speaks or breaks eye contact to look out the window or at something potentially distracting. But why? The answer is that if you are truly in the moment, then there is nothing to say. If you’re completely lost in the other person, you don’t NOTICE whats going on around. It takes a while to get to that point – to be able to completely lose yourself in someone, but it is so amazing when it happens…

Onegai Teacher is an amazing demonstration of the awesome power of tension. A secret you cannot tell anyone – a first kiss – conflicting emotions – conflicting roles – conflict breeds passion. Thats why people say that make-up sex is so great – its built on conflict. But – can we create that tension and pressure without conflict? The answer is yes – but its much more difficult. It takes a bit of self-awareness and an ability to let go. When people are angry – it is VERY easy for them to get tunnel vision. To focus solely on what angers them, it is something that seems to come naturally to us. That is what makes the transition of make-up sex what it is. You’re tunnel vision is on full and you become selfish. You at some point rationalize that your original anger was a bit unfounded but your partner now owes you something – and they can repay in the bed. Make-up sex is usually regarded as amazing because the woman feels like she is in control because she is finally being selfish. Since she is in control and worrying about her own orgasm – she will orgasm much better than any other time. And, lets be honest guys, theres nothing that turns a guy on more than a woman in full pleasure…

So how does one arrive at this without the fight? All it takes is the ability to let go – to lose yourself in the moment. You cannot logically do this – as the moment you think about doing it – you’re done. The moment you THINK – you are no longer lost in the moment. This is extremely difficult for people – because we are constantly berated with Media. Our cell phones, iPods, laptops, PDAs, and TVs keep us constantly amused, entertained, and engaged. We have difficulty just turning off and focusing on one thing. So, if you can master that, you can master that passion.

And for me, it is late and I must sleep.


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